DIVORCING LATER IN LIFE: 3 MAJOR ISSUES YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH

Since 1900, the divorce rate among people age 50 and older has more than doubled, accounting for more than 10% of all divorces. These so-called “gray divorces” are the result of shifting social dynamics, including longer lifespans, "empty nest" syndrome, and increased financial independence for women. While older couples face many of the same hurdles as younger ones, concerns regarding finances and healthcare are often accentuated due to the limited time available for recovery.

The Financial Stakes of Gray Divorce

Finances are the primary concern for older couples because they have less time to recover financially before retirement. Assets acquired during the marriage are considered community property and must be divided equitably.

Key Financial Assets to Consider:

• Retirement Savings: Division of pension plans, IRAs, or 401(k) plans typically requires a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO).
• Social Security: Unlike retirement accounts, Social Security is not a divisible asset in court. However, if a marriage lasted 10+ years and the non-working spouse is at least 62, they may be eligible to collect benefits based on the former spouse's record.
• Marital Debts: Debts, including credit cards, are also community property and should be paid off or divided fairly.
• Spousal Support (Alimony): For marriages lasting 10 years or more, alimony is almost always awarded to the lower-earning spouse to maintain their standard of living.

Healthcare and Coverage Challenges

Maintaining medical insurance is a critical hurdle in a gray divorce, particularly for spouses who were covered under a partner's employer plan.

Healthcare Options Post-Divorce:

• COBRA: Provides coverage for up to 36 months following the divorce.
• Replacement Coverage: Once COBRA expires, spouses must look to the Affordable Care Act (ACA), Medicaid, or new employment.
• Medicare: If a spouse is 65 or older, they may transition directly to Medicare.
• Long-Term Care: Caregiving arrangements should be discussed honestly with grown children as part of the overall estate planning process.

Shifting Family Dynamics and Living Arrangements

Even when children are grown, the family structure undergoes a significant shift. Parents may choose multi-generational living arrangements for financial or emotional support, which requires flexibility from all parties involved.

Managing "Grown-Child" Dynamics:

• Establishing a firm holiday schedule in the Marital Settlement Agreement (MSA) to ensure time with grandchildren.
• Openly discussing future caregiving roles to avoid confusion down the road.
• Updating estate plans to reflect the new family structure.

The Strategic Value of Mediation

Because financial recovery is harder to achieve at an older age, spending significant portions of the marital estate on litigation fees is often counterproductive. An experienced family law mediator offers a less costly, more timely alternative to traditional divorce.

By choosing mediation, older couples can reach a fair settlement that preserves their hard-earned assets, ensuring a more comfortable and stable life in their later years.

A Fair Way Mediation

At our divorce mediation center, we offer a relaxed, compassionate atmosphere in an informal setting that encourages a calm and objective approach. It’s a safe space without the stress and embarrassment of a courtroom. All couples are welcome, whether traditional or same-sex families. We’ve mediated hundreds of successful divorces and disputes. Rich Gordon, B.A., M.A., J.D., is our principal mediator in both Palm Springs, Riverside County, and San Diego.

As one of Southern California's top divorce mediators, A Fair Way Mediation has helped hundreds of couples obtain an affordable and peaceful divorce without going to court. We save our clients thousands of dollars in litigation fees and specialize in all forms of divorce mediation, including military divorce and same-sex divorce mediation. Our mediators will guide you through every facet of the process.