A Healthier Approach
It is not surprising that many couples are now choosing divorce
mediation to negotiate their own separation agreements.
Divorce mediation is the step by step process through which
separating couples arrive at a fair agreement which is acceptable
to both sides.
Mediation is conducted under the guidance of a trained professional
who helps the couple to make their own important decisions concerning
their changing future.
A mediator is NOT an advocate for either party, nor does he
make the decisions which affect the settlement. They arc trained
to listen and help each of the parties to stay focused on the
task at hand, During the course of mediation the parties are
encourage to discuss all of the issues and explore the various
options which they have to resolve their differences.
What are the benefits of mediation?
- Mediation can be used in many areas of family law for settlement
of divorce, separation, custody, support and modification
agreements.
- Mediation is available any time both parties are willing
to engage in the process, even if they are already involved
in a contested court case.
- Mediation is less expensive than going to court. A complete
mediation process, in most cases, costs less than a single
day in court.
- Mediation is efficient. Agreements are usually reached much
faster than in the court process. The participants may meet
for 5 to 10 sessions.
- Mediation is responsive to urgent needs such as support
and custody arrangements. Temporary settlements can be made
while the parties develop final agreements.
- Mediation is confidential.
- Mediation is voluntary.
- Mediation is effective because settlements based on mutual
satisfaction and voluntary agreement will, more likely, be
honored by the parties.
- Mediation is especially useful to parents facing separation
or divorce,who need to maintain a positive working relationship.
 Why Choose Divorce Mediation?
Conventional divorce is a lengthy, time-consuming process. Financial
and emotional costs are high for both parties.
Divorce mediation saves both time and money. There are no
large legal fees and it eliminates unnecessary suffering by
promoting cooperative problem-solving.
By selecting mediation individuals in a dissolving marriage
are choosing to take charge of their lives by maintaining their
sense of dignity and self-esteem. They are saying that they
prefer to end their marriage in a cooperative, forward-thinking
way which minimizes the anger often associated with divorce.
What About The Children?
A divorce affects the whole family, often putting considerable
strain on the children. The fear and depression associated with
a divorce can be increased by a lengthy and combative courtroom
battle.
Experience has shown that children benefit greatly when their
parents negotiate a mutually agreeable settlement. When Mom
and Dad are seen to be comfortable with the separation agreement,
especially custody and visitation rights, children are better
able to adjust to the divorce.
Why Does Mediation Work?
A skilled and experienced mediator is able to create a safe
place and cooperative environment which encourages open and
honest discussion. The Mediator's role is to be impartial, identifying
issues, exploring underlying interests and balancing power.
The mediator is neutral, does not represent either party and
does not make decisions. Mediators are trained to listen and
help both parties stay focused on the task at hand. They encourage
the couple to search for a solution and support them to make
their own decisions.
How Does Mediation Work?
The mediation sessions are used to help you arrive at decisions
concerning:
custody and visitation
division of marital property
child support
spousal support
In mediation, the couple proceeds through a series of steps.
- Both of you attend an introductory session in which a
detailed explanation of mediation, including written guidelines,
is given.
- You are informed of the mediator's strict neutrality and
the confidentiality of any information disclosed during
mediation/settlement sessions.
- After you decide to proceed with mediation, you sign an
agreement to that effect.
- You are also advised how you will pay for the services
of the mediator, and all other costs, such as an accountant
or appraiser, if required, as incurred.
During the course of mediation you are encouraged to discuss
all issues and explore various alternative solutions.
The mediation process culminates (usually after an average
of five sessions) in the preparation of an Marital Separation
Agreement which details the specifics of your mutually agreed
decisions. You may then have your personal attorneys review
your agreement. This agreement would typically become part
of any divorce decree you may later acquire from a court of
competent jurisdiction.
Starting the Mediation Process
Most mediations begin with a phone call to the mediator's
office. There may be a brief phone consultation or office
consultation about the mediation process.At this time, legal
information is usually not addressed.
The First Mediation Session
Both parties are present and each has an opportunity to express
their thoughts on the decisions which need to be made in the
divorce. The mediator then shares legal information (not advice)
about the relevant issues to help the parties in making their
own decisions. Areas of agreement are noted. Areas of disagreement
are clarified and options discussed.
Between Mediation Sessions
The parties compile their financial information and may experiment
with different parenting schedules. Some parties consult with
separate attorneys, to assist with their financial forms,
to understand the law in greater detail, and to develop proposals
to make future mediation sessions.
Developing Terms of Agreements
Subsequent mediation sessions (often a total of 3-4 sessions)
involve discussions of alternative proposals for agreement
on parenting issues, child and spousal support, and property
and debt division. In many divorce mediation cases, there
are trade-offs between these categories which could not be
made by a judge at court. Each party is encouraged to make
new proposals, rather than criticizing the other party's proposals,
until agreement can be reached.
Marital Settlement Agreement
The final terms of agreement are drafted into a Marital Settlement
Agreement. Each party has an opportunity to review this draft
on their own, or with a separate attorney of their choice.
Once final revisions have been made, it is signed by both
parties with a notary. Then it is filed with the court and
becomes an enforceable divorce judgment.
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