A Healthier Approach
It is not surprising that many couples are now choosing divorce mediation to negotiate their own separation agreements.
Divorce mediation is the step by step process through which separating couples arrive at a fair agreement which is acceptable to both sides.
Mediation is conducted under the guidance of a trained professional who helps the couple to make their own important decisions concerning their changing future.
A mediator is NOT an advocate for either party, nor does he or she make the decisions which affect the settlement. They are trained to listen and help each of the parties to stay focused on the task at hand. During the course of mediation the parties are encouraged to discuss all of the issues and explore the various options which they have to resolve their differences.
What are the benefits of mediation?
- Mediation can be used in many areas of family law for settlement of divorce, separation, custody, support and modification agreements.
- Mediation is available any time both parties are willing to engage in the process, even if they are already involved in a contested court case.
- Mediation is less expensive than going to court. A complete mediation process, in most cases, costs less than a single day in court.
- Mediation is efficient. Agreements are usually reached much faster than in the court process. The participants may meet for 5 to 10 sessions.
- Mediation is responsive to urgent needs such as support and custody arrangements. Temporary settlements can be made while the parties develop final agreements.
- Mediation is confidential.
- Mediation is voluntary.
- Mediation is effective because settlements based on mutual satisfaction and voluntary agreement will, more likely, be honored by the parties.
- Mediation is especially useful to parents facing separation or divorce,who need to maintain a positive working relationship.
Why Choose Divorce Mediation?
Conventional divorce is a lengthy, time-consuming process. Financial and emotional costs are high for both parties.
Divorce mediation saves both time and money. There are no large legal fees and it eliminates unnecessary suffering by promoting cooperative problem-solving.
By selecting mediation individuals in a dissolving marriage choose to take charge of their lives by maintaining their sense of dignity and self-esteem. They are saying that they prefer to end their marriage in a cooperative, forward-thinking way which minimizes the anger often associated with divorce.
What About The Children?
A divorce affects the whole family, often putting considerable strain on the children. The fear and depression associated with a divorce can be increased by a lengthy and combative courtroom battle.
Experience has shown that children benefit greatly when their parents negotiate a mutually agreeable settlement. When Mom and Dad are seen to be comfortable with the separation agreement, especially custody and visitation rights, children are better able to adjust to the divorce.
Why Does Mediation Work?
A skilled and experienced mediator is able to create a safe place and cooperative environment which encourages open and honest discussion. The Mediator’s role is to be impartial, identifying issues, exploring underlying interests and balancing power.
The mediator is neutral, does not represent either party and does not make decisions. Mediators are trained to listen and help both parties stay focused on the task at hand. They encourage the couple to search for a solution and support them to make their own decisions.
How Does Mediation Work?
The mediation sessions are used to help you arrive at decisions concerning:
- Child Custody and Visitation
- Child Support
- Health Insurance and Expenses
- College Expenses
- Division of Real and Personal Property
- Spousal Support
- Debt Repayment
- Retirement Valuation and Distribution
- Tax Consequences
- Life Insurance
In mediation, the couple proceeds through a series of steps.
- Both of you attend an introductory session in which a detailed explanation of mediation, including written guidelines, is given.
- You are informed of the mediator’s strict neutrality and the confidentiality of any information disclosed during mediation/settlement sessions.
- After you decide to proceed with mediation, you sign an agreement to that effect.
- You are also advised how you will pay for the services of the mediator, and all other costs, such as an accountant or appraiser, if required, as incurred.
During the course of mediation you are encouraged to discuss all issues and explore various alternative solutions.
The mediation process culminates (usually after an average of five sessions) in the preparation of an Marital Separation Agreement which details the specifics of your mutually agreed decisions. You may then have your personal attorneys review your agreement. This agreement would typically become part of any divorce decree you may later acquire from the superior court.
Starting the Mediation Process
Most mediations begin with a phone call to the mediator’s office. There may be a brief consultation or office consultation about the mediation process.At this time, legal information is usually not addressed.
The First Mediation Session
Both parties are present and each has an opportunity to express their thoughts on the decisions which need to be made in the divorce. The mediator then shares legal information (not advice) about the relevant issues to help the parties in making their own decisions. Areas of agreement are noted. Areas of disagreement are clarified and options discussed.
Between Mediation Sessions
The parties compile their financial information and may experiment with different parenting schedules. Some parties consult with separate attorneys, to assist with their financial forms, to understand the law in greater detail, and to develop proposals to make future mediation sessions.
Developing Terms of Agreements
Subsequent mediation sessions (often a total of 3-4 sessions) involve discussions of alternative proposals for agreement on parenting issues, child and spousal support, and property and debt division. In many divorce mediation cases, there are trade-offs between these categories which could not be made by a judge at court. Each party is encouraged to make new proposals, rather than criticizing the other party’s proposals, until agreement can be reached.
Marital Settlement Agreement
The final terms of agreement are drafted into a Marital Settlement Agreement. Each party has an opportunity to review this draft on their own, or with a separate attorney of their choice. Once final revisions have been made, it is signed by both parties with a notary. Then it is filed with the court and becomes an enforceable divorce judgment.
Information About A Fair Way Mediation Center
- One America Plaza
- 600 W Broadway, Suite 700 San Diego, California 92101
- 619-702-9174
- 619-232-4665 fax
- ImFair4U@aol.com